Taming the Chaos - Managing projects with difficult team members and stakeholders
As a project management consultant, I often hear from project managers and PMOs: “I’m having issues with difficult personalities—what do I do to deal with this?” It’s a universal headache—whether it’s a team member who bulldozes collaboration or a stakeholder who thinks they’re the only genius in the room, these dynamics can grind progress to a halt. The good news? You can navigate these challenges with the right strategies. Here’s how to manage projects effectively when difficult personalities threaten to derail your efforts, complete with examples and practical solutions.
Understanding the Usual Suspects
Difficult team members and stakeholders tend to fall into predictable patterns. Recognizing them is the first step to tackling the chaos:
The "My Way or the Highway" Collaborator: They dig in, rejecting input and insisting on their approach.
The Ego Titan: Armed with oversized confidence, they assume they know it all and drown out others.
The Quit-Threat Extortionist: They leverage “I’ll walk” as a power play to get their demands met.
The Socially Clueless Leader: Lacking people skills or leadership finesse, they sow confusion and tension.
When PMs tell me, “I’m stuck with these types,” my advice starts with getting ahead of the behavior.
Strategy 1: Anchor Them with Clear Expectations
Difficult personalities thrive in ambiguity. Set firm boundaries by defining roles, goals, and processes from day one.
Example: A PM shared, “One developer keeps pushing their own timeline, ignoring the plan.” I’d recommend referencing the project kickoff where timelines were locked in: “We agreed on this schedule to meet the client’s deadline—can you explain how your approach fits that?” It’s a polite redirect that keeps the focus on facts.
Tip: Use a project charter or a tool like Jira to make expectations visible and non-negotiable.
Strategy 2: Harness Egos for Good
I hear it often: “This stakeholder’s ego is out of control—they hijack every call.” Big egos can be a pain, but they’re often tied to real skills. Channel that energy by giving them a sandbox to shine in, tied to team goals.
Example: A PMO lead complained about a know-it-all exec derailing discussions. I suggested: “Next time, task them with something specific—like validating our data assumptions. Say, ‘You’ve got a sharp eye for this; can you dig into it for us?’” It keeps them occupied and adds value.
Tip: Acknowledge their input in front of the team when it’s legit—it strokes their ego while reinforcing collaboration.
Strategy 3: Defuse Threats with Cool Confidence
“I’ve got a team member who threatens to quit unless we do it their way,” a PM once vented. Threats like these are power grabs—don’t flinch. Stay calm and pivot to the project’s needs.
Example: A designer says, “If we don’t use my layout, I’m done.” Respond: “I see you’re invested in this, and we need your skills. Let’s compare your layout to the brief’s requirements—how does it stack up?” It shifts the conversation from drama to data.
Tip: Quietly prep a Plan B (like a freelancer on standby) so you’re never hostage to their bluff.
Strategy 4: Scaffold the Skill Gaps
PMs often lament, “My lead has zero people skills—it’s killing morale.” When leadership or social chops are missing, impose structure to limit the damage.
Example: A socially awkward stakeholder barks orders, alienating the team. A PM I advised set up structured check-ins with clear prompts: “Here’s what we need today—updates, risks, next steps.” Privately, they nudged: “The team clicks better with a heads-up before changes—can we try that?” It’s subtle coaching with guardrails.
Tip: Lean on tools like Microsoft Teams or Monday.com to keep communication tracked and less personal.
Strategy 5: Rally Support and Escalate Smartly
When PMOs say, “I’m out of moves,” I point to teamwork and escalation. Build a coalition of reasonable voices to reinforce norms, and only escalate with a solid case.
Example: A stakeholder’s constant threats of “I’ll pull funding” rattled a PM. I suggested briefing a supportive team lead to chime in: “We’re on track—let’s keep the momentum.” When it didn’t stop, they escalated to the sponsor with specifics: “These disruptions have delayed us by three days—any thoughts on managing this?”
Tip: Log incidents (dates, impacts) for credibility, but pitch escalation as a problem-solving step, not a complaint.
Final Takeaway: You’ve Got This
“I’m having issues with difficult personalities” is a cry I hear too often from project managers and PMOs—and I get it. Whether it’s the collaborator who won’t budge, the ego that won’t quit, or the leader who can’t connect, these headaches test your mettle. But with clear boundaries, strategic redirection, and a steady hand, you can turn chaos into progress. You’re not just managing a project—you’re mastering the people behind it.
What’s the toughest personality you’ve faced on a project? Share your story below—I’d love to swap war stories and solutions!
Why Companies Miss the Mark on Project Managers—and Why It’s a Big Mistake
Hey there, business folks and project lovers,
I’ve been around the project management block long enough to notice something puzzling: some companies still don’t see the value in having a solid project manager on board. It’s like skipping the GPS on a cross-country road trip—sure, you might get there eventually, but good luck avoiding the detours, dead ends, and empty gas tanks. Let’s dig into why this happens, why it’s a mistake, and what it’s costing those who shrug off the PM role. Spoiler: the numbers don’t lie, and they’re pretty eye-opening.
Why the Skepticism?
I get it—project managers can sometimes feel like an extra layer. A survey from PMI found that only 58% of organizations fully grasp the value of project management. That leaves a hefty chunk—over 40%—who aren’t sold on it. Maybe they think, “Hey, we’ve got smart people; they’ll figure it out,” or they see PMs as overhead, not game-changers. I’ve heard the grumbles: “Too much process, not enough action.” And honestly, 42% of project managers say their companies resist new methodologies, according to PMSolutions, which doesn’t help the case.
But here’s where it gets tricky. When you peel back the layers, it’s not just about resistance—it’s a disconnect. A Wellingtone report showed 41% of businesses struggle to prove the PMO’s worth, and 80% of execs don’t even know how their projects tie to the big-picture strategy, per Changepoint. If leadership can’t see the dots connecting, it’s no wonder they’re hesitant to invest in the folks holding the pen.
Why That’s a Mistake
Here’s the thing: sidelining project managers isn’t just a missed opportunity—it’s a gamble with lousy odds. High-performing organizations get it—89% of their projects succeed when they lean into PM practices, says PMI, compared to a measly 36% for the low performers who don’t. That’s not a fluke. Project managers are the glue—the ones who turn chaos into clarity, keep timelines from unraveling, and make sure resources don’t vanish into thin air.
Think about this: companies that skimp on formal PM processes waste 28 times more money than those who don’t, according to PMI. That’s not pocket change. For every $1 billion invested in the U.S., $122 million gets torched due to poor project performance. Without someone steering the ship, you’re basically tossing cash out the window and hoping for the best. And trust me, “hope” isn’t a strategy—it’s a prayer with a bad success rate.
What’s the Fallout?
Let’s talk consequences, because they’re brutal. When companies don’t value project managers, projects don’t just stumble—they crash. PMI’s stats show 67% more projects fail in organizations that undervalue PM. That’s two-thirds of your efforts potentially circling the drain. Deadlines slip—50% of projects finish late, per the Project Management Institute—and budgets balloon, with an average cost overrun of 27%, says Harvard Business Review.
It’s not just money, either. Team morale takes a hit when no one’s wrangling the chaos. A lack of clear goals—cited by 37% of execs as the top reason projects tank, per PMI—leaves everyone spinning their wheels. And customers? They’re not thrilled when deliverables are late or half-baked. IT projects, for instance, are notorious for this—17% fail so badly they threaten the company’s existence, according to one study. That’s not a hiccup; that’s a heart attack.
And here’s a kicker: globally, businesses waste $1 million every 20 seconds—yep, seconds—because of shaky strategy execution tied to poor PM practices, per Businesswire. That’s $2 trillion a year down the tubes. Imagine what that could fund instead—growth, innovation, a killer office coffee machine.
Flipping the Script
So, why should companies rethink this? Because project managers aren’t just taskmasters—they’re value-drivers. The proof’s in the pudding: 77% of high-performing projects use PM software to keep things humming, per Hive, and organizations with mature PM practices see 90% of projects hit their marks on time, budget, and scope, says Quixy. That’s not luck; that’s skill.
I’m not saying every company needs a PM army, but having someone who can herd the cats, spot the risks, and keep the train on the tracks? That’s gold. At AshCo, we’ve seen it firsthand—our workshop approach turns messy starts into smooth finishes, and I’d love to show you how. If you’re on the fence about PM value, let’s chat. Drop me a line—I’m all about helping you dodge the stats that sting and land in the ones that shine.
Happy managing (with a plan, please!),
Sarah
Why Discovery Workshops Are a Game-Changer in Project Management
Hey there, fellow project managers,
Every great project starts with a solid foundation—knowing exactly what’s needed and where we’re headed. That’s where discovery workshops come in, and let me tell you, they’re a must in my book. These sessions are like the kickoff huddle that gets everyone on the same page, setting the stage for a smooth and successful run.
Here at AshCo, we’ve seen firsthand how discovery workshops make a difference in planning and pulling off projects that actually hit the mark. So, I wanted to share a bit about why they’re so valuable and how they can set your project up for a win.
Getting Everyone on the Same Wavelength
Discovery workshops are all about bringing people together. They give stakeholders a chance to toss out their ideas, share their goals, and land on a vision we can all rally behind. It’s that moment where we go, “Okay, this is what we’re building”—and it sticks because we built it together.
Digging Up the Good Stuff
These workshops are also where we roll up our sleeves and gather the details that matter—things like project scope, timelines, budgets, who’s doing what, and what could trip us up. It’s like panning for gold; we sift through the info and pull out what’s going to keep us moving forward.
Laying Out the Roadmap
One of my favorite parts? Discovery workshops give us a clear framework to work from. We figure out the big phases, nail down milestones, and map out deliverables. It’s the kind of clarity that lets me build a project plan I can actually stick to—and trust me, that’s a lifesaver.
Keeping Things Moving
When you’ve got a solid grasp on the scope and goals right from the start, things just flow better. Discovery workshops cut down on the guesswork, which means fewer delays and better results. Efficiency? Yes, please.
Talking It Out
Let’s be real—good communication can make or break a project. These workshops get everyone talking, swapping ideas, and lining up expectations. That vibe carries through the whole project, making decisions easier and keeping us all in sync.
That’s why I’m such a fan of discovery workshops. They help us nail the vision, gather the right info, set up a solid plan, run things smoother, and keep the lines of communication wide open. Kicking off a project with one of these sessions is like giving yourself a head start toward success—and delivering something that everyone’s proud of.
At AshCo, we’re all about making project management work for you. If you’re curious about how a discovery workshop could kick your next project into high gear, let’s chat! Drop us a line—I’d love to help you make it happen.
Happy project managing,
Sarah
Why Project Planning is Essential for Successful Business Outcomes
Hey there, project enthusiasts,
Let’s talk about something I’ve learned the hard way: good planning is the backbone of any project that actually works out. Whether it’s a small task or a massive undertaking, having a solid plan in place is what keeps things from going off the rails. I’ve seen it time and again—taking a little extra time upfront to map things out saves a whole lot of headaches (and budget) down the road.
For me, project planning isn’t just a step in the process—it’s the step that lets you track what’s happening, spot risks before they blow up, and tweak things as you go. It’s like giving yourself a roadmap to follow so you’re not wandering around in the dark. And trust me, skipping it? That’s a fast track to delays, overspending, or worse—watching the whole thing fall apart.
So, why is project planning such a big deal for getting the business wins you’re after? It’s all about setting up a strategy that gets you from point A to point B without losing your mind—or your team. It’s figuring out goals, breaking down tasks, setting timelines, lining up resources, and keeping everyone in the loop. Done right, it’s the difference between a project that limps across the finish line and one that lands exactly where you wanted it to.
What You Get Out of It
Planning isn’t just busywork—it’s the secret sauce for making things run smoother. For starters, it sharpens your decision-making. When you’ve got a clear picture of your goals, timeline, and budget, you can weigh risks and figure out how to dodge them before they hit. It’s like having a crystal ball, minus the magic.
Then there’s the resource side of things. A good plan lays out when and how you’ll use what you’ve got—people, tools, budget—so you’re not scrambling later. It keeps the team focused on what matters most, which means less waste and better results. Efficiency? Check.
And let’s not forget communication. A solid plan gets everyone talking from the get-go. It’s easier to collaborate, stay aligned, and avoid those “wait, what are we doing?” moments. When the team’s on the same page, things just click.
The Tricky Bits
Now, I’ll be real—planning isn’t always a walk in the park. One of the toughest parts is keeping it doable. If your plan’s too pie-in-the-sky, you’re setting yourself up for missed deadlines and a stressed-out team. Another challenge? Nailing down what you’ll actually need. Guess wrong on resources, and tracking progress gets messy fast.
Then there are the curveballs—those surprises you didn’t see coming. They can throw a wrench in things if you’re not ready. And finally, there’s the big-picture alignment. If your plan doesn’t tie back to what the business is trying to achieve, you might nail the project but miss the mark on what really matters. It’s a balancing act, but it’s worth it.
How to Make It Work
So, how do you plan like a pro? Start with the basics: set clear goals—what are we trying to do here? Then, map out timelines and budgets, spot the risks, and sketch a game plan to tackle them. Get your stakeholders in the room—team members, managers, clients, whoever’s got a stake in this—and figure out who’s doing what. Clarity on roles is a lifesaver.
Scope’s a biggie too. Define what’s in, what’s out, and what it’ll take to get there. Break it into tasks and deliverables so everyone knows what success looks like. Oh, and don’t skip the communication plan—decide how you’ll keep in touch, make decisions, and check in on progress. It’s like the glue that holds it all together.
Wrapping It Up
Here’s the bottom line: project planning isn’t optional if you want to win. A great plan keeps you on track, helps you dodge trouble, and makes the most of what you’ve got. It’s how you finish on time, on budget, and with something you’re proud of.
At AshCo, we’re all about turning planning into your superpower. Need a hand getting started? Drop me a line—I’d love to chat about how we can set your next project up for success.
Happy planning,
Sarah